To Give or Not

I have been quite aggressive in my latest attempt to raise money for several different causes that I am supporting through my bike riding. Ever since I came back from India, I have upped my own donations, I constantly bring up the subject in conversations with just about anyone, and find myself being willing to hit up anyone with the request for a donation in any way or form.

The idea of helping others resonates strongly in me. One of the reasons I love Judaism so much (despite frequent headaches it gives me) is the importance it places on the good deeds, charity, and general idea of helping and giving. My family donates generously on regular basis, and we try to volunteer as much as we can. A side point, within my own family we don’t always have consensus on our causes, where to volunteer and which organizations to volunteer for, but we are united in the belief of helping via monetary and non-monetary means.

I don’t think the desire to help is inherent to mankind. If it was intrinsic to us, no major religion would mandate obligatory donations. Judaism, Islam, and Christianity command its followers to donate. I think the fact that these religions not only mandate obligatory donations, but also specify how much people ought to donate, is a further proof that unless forced somehow, a person isn’t necessarily going to help others.

Beauty Is Truth

Saw John Fernandes’s work tonight. It left me speechless… Coming face to face with genius that can capture so much with few strokes leaves me trembling, confused, happy, and wanting to cry, all at the same time.His work is breathtakingly beautiful.

The way he saw women is the way each woman wants to be seen… His work captured it all, warmth, sensuality, strength, eroticism, openness, loveliness, and beauty of a woman… His work enthralled me…

I also saw a figure in Modern Art session that left quite an impression on me. It was an unspecified sex human body that was holding itself by hand. The body was faceless, clearly in a great shape, and very powerful in how it was supporting itself by using one hand only. Yet, the curve of its spine, and soft turn of its head portrayed such vulnerability…It made me think of how powerful a human body can be, and at the same time remain very fragile…

Mumbai Slums

I saw a slum today, and what I have seen made me want to do something to myself, so that I am no more, and can no longer see

Why Am I Going To India?

Just about everyone who learned that I am going to India as the volunteer, has wanted to know why I wanted to do it. Right about now, I have no idea why I wanted to do it. After a crazy weekend trip to East Coast to see my family, a delayed flight on Monday night, and another long flight awaiting me, I have no idea why I wanted to go to India. All I really want right now is get boarded, pop my Tylenol PM, and go to sleep! I am hoping that once I get my sleep, I can think and feel more clearly!

Crying While Packing

I have cried in many different settings, but crying while packing is a new one for me. One of my gmail statuses says “I have cried in many different settings, though never while packing. First time for everything! Let’s toast to my first crying while packing!” And truly, I ought to toast my tears from time to time. Why should only my laughter be celebrated? My tears are more real and truthful than my laughter…

I am crying tonight because being on a receiving end of a prolong lie hurts. It sucks to be in that position; and this point I am getting pretty frustrated with my own tears, and impatiently trying to whip myself into a shape, stop waiting for an apology, and just move on. I am having quite a hard time feeling compassionate towards myself right now, my crying has been going for four hours now… Hasn’t it been long enough? Can it not stop now?