Why does sharing that I am in emotional or mental pain, or sad, or depressed, makes people uncomfortable, and brings out a strong desire in others to fix me?
Here how it goes:
I am asked “How are you doing?” I reply “Not so good, I am feeling down, and a bit sad. I immediately get “Why are you sad? Oh you shouldn’t be sad, you should be happy. Come, don’t worry, it will go away.”
1. I don’t always know why I am sad. And why does “why” matter? I am sad, can we not leave it at that?
2. We should be and do many things, yet we don’t. And if I should be happy, then why can I not also be “I should be sad”?
3. I am not worried. I am merely sharing with you how I feel.
4. Yes, often my pain goes away. At the time when I feel it, I want its presence to be acknowledged.
What it all boils down to is that hearing anything that smacks of negative, for you could argue that pain is negative, an immediate respond is to reject it, and then promptly try to fix it. And who is being really fixed here? Me, or the person who is trying to fix me? Because, hey, I didn’t ask to be fixed. I just answered the question!
I find that our pain is often more real than anything else. Pain eradicates all barriers on its path of reaching our hearts and souls helluva faster than any other emotions. And yet, it is hardly tolerated when is spoken about. Why do you suppose that is?
